Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Untitled

Trying to find a reason behind this so called thing called life

Trying to forgive but you can forget forgetting

Trying to find love while reaching goals

Trying to raise kids right

Trying to be smart funny and attractive

Be a go getter, home-maker, a student, an entrepreneur

Trying, trying, trying

Trying to answer the age old question…who am i?

I asked myself that question at the tender age of 12

I thought I found the answer, but here I stand again

Knocking at heavens door begging for an answer

How did I get in this mess

Trying to get out of it

Trying to dig myself out of the grave I dug for myself

Trying to re-make this bed I made

I cant turn back the hands of time

Gotta work with the cards Ive been dealt

Who can I run to?

Trying to answer these questions I see to ask everyday?

Why?

Why am I here?

Why did I make that decision?

What can I do to make things better?

The more I search the less I find?

My questions don’t even make sense

I wake up sometimes with a clear mission but by midday I lose focus

Maybe I just shouldn’t care

I wanna spend more time on what I know in my heart is ME

But obligations, responsibilities, choices, stand in my way

What to do?

YOUR FREE

Your Free



You’re free from worry and frustration that I might have brought.

You’re free from torment and confusion you sought.
I am no longer a burden to resist.
Nor am I another name on your list.
You’re free to go and do as you please.
Free to sleep with happiness and ease.
I don’t know what kind of man you’d thought you would be when you played and disrespected me.
I so carefully gave thought to the good times we saw.
And realized they out weighted the disappointments and every flaw.
My eyes were covered and unable to see the TRUTH.
And when it was revealed I would have never thought, YOU!
The frustration, the bitter anger I felt was nothing to compare to the thoughts that kept me haunted by night and afraid by day.
But it must be Gods will that you not stay.
So I will count it all joy with neither tear’s or sorrow for I know that joy is coming in the tomorrows’

REJOICE! 

YOU’RE FREE!

This Thing

This thing is unavailable to me right now for whatever reason.
I am not wanted by this thing.
This thing does not welcome me.
So why don’t I give up on this thing?
I guess because I cannot live without this thing.

The Ladies of Old

The ladies of old really had it going on. Those classy ladies who always sat at the front of the church. Those laced covered hands. And large rounded hats no one could see past. From far away you would see them coming. Hat first, suit second, and shoes last. As they past their scent would introduce themselves to your nostrils and long after there departure would the conversation continue.

The ladies of old really had it going on. In public you never once heard them scold their children only a look that sent little Tommy running to her side and Mary Ann tremble. If either one of their kids scraped a knee they would come a running and if no bones were broken and no blood leaking they would tell em to “just go to sleep, you will feel better when you get up”. Somehow you always did.
The ladies of old really had it going on. When they walked out of the house it wasn’t in no due rag. They were dressed down from head to toe. Even if it was just to take a quick ride to the store. And the kids followed suit.

The ladies of old had it going on. Their marriages lasted. If there was any trouble you never heard about it. There business was never out on the street. Cause what happened in the house stayed in the house.
The ladies of old had it going on. A hot meal everynight. And by bed time not a dish in sight. The clothes, what few they had were washed and pressed nice. Not one wrinkle. And they smelled fresh. At nine o’clock every child was in bed prayers said.

The ladies of old had it going on. Their children spoke when they were spoken to and knew that when they walked in a room they spoke to every grown folk present. They knew to stay out of grown folk business. And there houses were always cleaned. Seemed like millions of black and white photos on the wall.

The ladies of old had it going on. They kept their men in check without disrespect. A ring was always present on the left hand. If single she lived with her momma or relative. You always found them in church on Sundays. They excelled in school. They sewed most all clothes. They planted and stuck around to watch their seeds grow.

One Man's Cure


ONE MAN’S CURE


WHO EVER SAID THAT IT WAS BETTER TO HAVE LOVED AND LOST THEN TO HAVE NEVER LOVED AT ALL WAS LOST AND NEVER LOVED AT ALL.
I REALIZED THIS WHEN I SAW YOU WALKING DOWN THE HALL
WITH ANOTHER GIRL BY YOUR SIDE
I CANT LIE I WAS SURPRISED
AND I KNOW YOU SEEN IT IN MY EYES
THOUGH SAD THOUGHTS I TRIED TO HIDE
THOUGHTS AND MEMORIES OF US,
YOU BRINGING A SMILE TO MY FACE
IT SHOULD BE A CRIME FOR THEY’RE BEING THAT THIN LINE THAT SEPARATES LOVE AND HATE.
BECAUSE WE NOW STAND ON THAT THING NOT KNOWING RATHER TO LOVE OR HATE
SO WE JUST SIT AND PROCRASTINATE
I AND YOU KNOW IT WAS MEANT TO BE WE KNOW THAT WE ARE DESTINY.
WHY SIT HERE WE AND PLAY WITH LOVES’ FATE?

WHOEVER SAID THAT IT WAS BETTER TO HAVE LOVED AND LOST THAT LOVE THEN TO HAVE EVER LOVED AT ALL WAS SICK IN THE HEAD AND WAS DESTINED FOR A GREAT FALL.
LIKE THAT MAN WITH THE HUMP IN HIS BACK
THESE FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS RACK
THEY OVERWHELM ME AT TIMES
THAT’S WHY I SIT HERE AND WRITE THESE RHYMES
IF NOT THEY WOULD ESCAPE ME
PROBABLY IN THE WRONG WAY
BUT WHO’S TO SAY THAT WAY WASN’T SUPPOSED TO BE TODAY.
I WONT GO THEIR CAUSE THAT’S TO DEEP
PLUS I’M JUST AVOIDING THE ONE SUBJECT THAT MAKES ME WEEP
HE AND THE FUTURE I KNOW THAT’S MEANT TO BE.

NOW DO I FEEL LIKE IT WAS BETTER TO HAVE LOVED AND LOST THEN TO HAD EVER LOVED AT ALL.
HELL NO!!
CAUSE THIS FEELING I FEEL RIGHT NOW I WOULDN’T WISH THIS SHIT ON MY WORST ENEMY.
THIS SICKNESS THAT ONLY ONE MAN CAN CURE
THE ONE MANS’ CURE
THAT’S WHAT I CALL IT
AND I NEED IT RIGHT NOW
WHAT I WOULD DO TO HAVE IT?
HOW FAR WOULD I GO TO GET IT?
WELL THAT’S WRITTEN SOMEWHERE IN THE STARS
NAW, I KNOW, I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I WOULD
AND I KNOW JUST HOW FAR I WOULD GO
SOME WOULD CALL ME CRAZY CAUSE I’D TAKE THE “WAITING TO EXHALE” ROW
I’D DO AN ANGELA BASSET ON YO ASS IN A MINUTE
BUT NOT BECAUSE OF HATE
ITS JUST THE WAY YOU GOT ME FEELING
ITS MAKING ME INSANE
DOING CRAZY THANGS
ALL OUT THE BLUE
ITS TEMPORARY INSANITY THOUGH
NOT PREMEDITATED
NO ONE PLANS TO HATE IT
BUT THEY ALL DO AT ONE POINT IN THEIR LIFE
DON’T LIE AND SAY YOU DIDN’T OVER THAT ONE GUY
HMM HMM HMM
IS ALL I CAN SAY
BECAUSE THE WORDS TO DESCRIBE HIM ARE JUST TOO GREAT
AND OHH HOW YOU LOVED HIM,
YOU JUST KNEW HE HAD TO BE YOUR SOUL MATE
BUT I WONT TAKE IT THERE ITS NO NEED TO REMINISCE
YOU KNOW WHAT YOU NEED TO DO
DO THAT THING THAT HAS ALWAYS PROVEN AND SHOWED HOW WOMEN HAVE PUT IT DOWN AND WENT THROUGH
HOW THEY’VE FORGOTTEN THEIR PRIDE FOR A SEC AND RAISED THEIR HEADS UP HIGH
LOOKING DEEP INTO THEIR MAN’S EYES THEY SAY
“BABY, I LOVE YOU AND YOU BELONG TO ME. THERE IS NO ONE ELSE IN THIS WORLD THAT MAKES ME FEEL THE WAY YOU DO, CAN’T YOU SEE.”
NOW AFTER SPILLING YOUR GUTS AND SHOWING THAT NIGGA HOW YOU REALLY FEEL
YEAH, HE GONNA TRY TO GET HARD AND ACT LIKE A PIMP.
BUT IF THAT’S YOUR MAN YOU KNOW HIM
HE’S WIPED!
HE LOVES YOU AND YOU SEE IT IN HIS EYES
AND TONIGHT YOU’LL BE THERE FOR EACH OTHER THE FIRST NIGHT OF MANY
THE BEGINNING OF YOU NEW LIVES.

Untitled

i love looking in your eyes ,
their my sky ,
i enjoy the scenery .
its my favorite place to visit in the world ,
i dare not leave ,
i love the venue ,
i take my time looking over your menu .
enjoy the moments ,
taking in glory ,
want to hear your story .
love how they flutter ,
makes my heart stuttter and my words mutter .
the deeper i venture
the more you make this heart melt ,
like butter , your warmest is heart felt .
smile drives me wild ,
i cant help but be drawn closer to gaze .
your hotter than the sun ,
but your haze ,
got me in a daze ,
i cant help but be in a craze .
your all that i crave ,
i want to be close to touch ,
but i am afraid to rush ,
and get holes burned through my hoping lust .
my ozone is crushed seeing my advances hushed .
i cant help but lust ,
looking deep in your eyes with trust

LOVE

LOVE

LOVE where are you?
Why do you hide from me?
Why do you play these games?
If you knew how much I needed you, if you could only see, feel and understand my desperate need for you in my life.
Like air to my lungs I need for you to fill me up. I hunger and thirst for you.
Like a dying delicate flower dependent on earths’ natural food.
Sunlight, rain and a cool breeze, with these things it grows beautiful everyday.
LOVE with you I can shine,
LOVE with you I can smile,
LOVE with you I can dance a foolish dance; I can cry a lovers cry.

LOVE with your arms wrapped around me the forces of evil will not prevail.

Oh, LOVE where are you?
Why do you hide from me?
I need you. I pray for you, I yearn for you.
LOVE, don’t abandon me. Don’t you dare say that I’ve had my turn, don’t you dare leave me here with the loveless.
I don’t belong in their world, alone, betrayed, wounded, and full of HATE, your enemy.
I don’t want to be one of your castaways.
I need one more chance, I need one more breath. Many a pretenders have come my way. They walk the walk, they talk the talk, but I know your touch, I know your smile,
I remember your touch and it didn’t leave me lonely in the morning.
LOVE you were there for me all through the night, you held me and cradled me in your warm arms. And when you wasn’t I dreamed of you and was comforted, I slept peacefully. And when I awoke there you were ready to greet me with a beautiful day.

LOVE, I miss you. If I had your number I would call you everyday. If I knew your email address I would write to you, in fact I would send you this poem. Love, I don’t much care what shape or form you come in I just want you back.

LOVE
Candace

If They Could See Us Now

IF THEY COULD SEE US NOW

Oh, if they could see us now.
What would they say?
My heart is heavy and filled with shame.
As they say, “they would be turning in their graves if they could see us now.”
My heart is heavy and filled with shame.
I beg for forgiveness because I was an ignorant fool.
I was blinded by freedoms’ empty promises; ungrateful, non deserving of what so many have fought and died for.
So many hungered and thirst after the knowledge I pushed away. They saw it, they knew it would come a day and some even “had a dream” of this very day, when freedom, knowledge and the freedom to pursue this knowledge would be so readily available. Who knew that only few would take advantage?
I beg for forgiveness.
How dare I say to God how grateful I am?
How can I truly be grateful?
I cannot even imagine; my mind cannot conceive of the miseries and tortures of the soul.
Yet for five long years I pushed knowledge away.
I turned my back on my calling.
Turned my head and rolled my eyes at my people.
We are full today so we do not thirst or hunger for the knowledge. Thus we perish.
We drown and then we drown some more, and we don’t even have the sense to learn how to swim.
What holds us back?
Grips us and pulls us away from the truth.
Will we ever truly overcome?
Yes!
We did it before.
We are free now, from the chains that were on our hands and feet.
Now we need to be freed from the chains of our hearts and minds.

Love's Eyes, I Love

LOVE’S EYES, I LOVE


EYES I LOVE
DEEP EYES I LOVE
EYES THAT TELL A STORY THE MOUTH CANNOT SPEAK
THE EARS CANNOT HEAR
HANDS CANNOT MAKE
AND
FEET CANNOT TAKE.
EYES THAT PAINT A PICTURE OF WHITE AND BLACK
EYES THAT REVEAL COLOR AFTER THE FACT.
ONE DAY THOSE EYES WILL CLOSE AND NEVER OPEN AGAIN
THOSE EYES THAT TOLD A STORY AND NOT AN END

EYES I LOVE
LOVES EYES THAT STARE DEEP INTO MY SOUL
THEY BYPASS MY HEART AND RIP THE BRAIN FROM MY SKULL
EYES THAT MAY BETRAY
AND
EYES THAT TELL YOU THEY WILL NOT STAY
EYES THAT TELL YOU ‘ILOVEYOU’
EYES THAT LIE
AND
EYES THAT FRACTURE
AND
LEAVE YOU OUT IN THE DESERT SUN TO FRY
EYES THAT ABUSE
AND
SEND YOU TO HELL
EYES THAT HOLD YOU CAPTIVE IN A GREAT SPELL
EYES THAT STIMULATE
AND
EYES THAT AWAKE
EYES THAT SHATTER
AND
EYES THAT BREAK
EYES THAT DISAPPOINT
AND
EYES THAT CONGRATULATE
EYES THAT FRACTURE
AND
EYES THAT MAKE YOU WEIGHT THE POSSIBILITIES OF LIFE
AND
LOVE’S EYES THAT I LOVE.

A Reflection of my Soul

A REFLECTION OF MY SOUL

WHO I WANT TO BE
AND WHAT I WANT TO SEE
LIES IN THE DESTINY THAT WAITS FOR ME.
IT LIES IN THAT STORY UNTOLD
BUT REVEALS SECRETS AS TIME UNFOLDS.
IT HOLDS TRUTH TO THESE LIES
AND SHOWS LIGHT IN THE DARKNESS.
IT WILL REVEAL WHO LOVES
AND WHO PRETENDS
WHO STEPPED IN BEFORE THE WOMB DEPENDS.
WHO TRIED TO STOP THE TRAGEDY OF YESTERDAY
AND WHO STAYED AWAKE WITH WIDE KNOWING EYES AND WATCHED IT PLAY.
IT WILL REVEAL WHAT WAS REALLY IN THE HEART
AND WHO SAW THE TURNING OF THE WHEELS
IN THE MIND AS THEY CREATED PLOTS AND VISCOUS SCHEMES, BLIND.
NOT KNOWING THE DAMAGE IT WOULD MAKE,
NOR THE SUDDEN IMPACT IT WOULD TAKE
ON THOSE EFFECTED WHILE ERECTED
IN THE HEAT OF THE MOMENT,
IN THE TIME OF PASSION WHEN THE FLESH IS WEAK
AND THE MIND DOES NOT SPEAK.
THE HEART TAKES FULL CONTROL
SEEKING CONSTANTLY OF WHAT IT DESIRES MOST.
A RESTING PLACE TO MAKE THE SOUND OF RELIEF,
A SIGH OF NO MORE PAIN AND GRIEF,
NO MORE TEARS FROM SORROW
OR ENDLESS SEARCHES WITH HOPE FOR THE TOMORROWS.
WHO I WANT TO BE
AND WHAT I WANT TO SEE
LIES IN THE DESTINY THAT WAITS FOR ME.
THAT CAPTURES MY EYES AND TUNES INTO MY HEART.
IT IS A REFLECTION OF MY SOUL.
THE SYMBOL OF MY WILL THAT WILL ALWAYS MAKE A WAY.
THE THIN LINE THAT SEPARATES LOVE AND HATE.
THE TRUE MEANING OF WHAT BE THE ANSWER TO YOU AND ME.
IT IS A REFLECTION OF MY SOUL
NOT THE FOR THERE ARE MANY.
SOME GOOD AND SOME BAD, ALL BROUGHT TOGETHER TO MAKE WHAT WE HAVE,
ME.